The Only True Vocation !

The price of Krishna consciousnessExcerpt from a lecture by HH Radhanath Swami
Sridhar swami in his commentary, he explains that the word sattvena, which means the mode of goodness, in practical application means that we must be patient. This is one of the most essential items of devotional service. Patience.

Rupa Goswami says that we must be enthusiastic with patience and confidence. Patience is a symptom of surrender. Without patience, our surrender is hollow and incomplete. We must execute Krishna conscious principles with great great enthusiasm. But we are not fruitive workers. We are not doing business with Krishna. When Lord Nrsimhadeva offered Prahlad maharaj benedictions, he could have chosen to go back to Godhead or anything.

But he said, my Lord, Iam not here to do business with you. Iam not a fruitive worker that I have performed my service and remained faithful with the expectation that you'll give me something. I have done it for your satisfaction. The one thing a devotee wants is a pure heart.
narayana-parah sarvena kutascana bibhyatisvargapavarga-narakesvapi tulyartha-darsinah
SB 6.17.28

For the devotees of Lord Narayan, whether they are in heaven, hell or in mukti, it makes no difference. Their only concern is to serve. So we want a pure heart. Because purer the heart, the more pleasing our service will be. Whether Krishna wants to send us to heaven or hell to Goloka or Vaikuntha, wherever He wants me to please Him, I'll be there. But just give me a pure heart, so I just have that motive, that sincerity of purpose.
But after years of hearing and chanting, after years of working so hard, after years of giving up so much of what is precious to ordinary beings - our health, our youth, still the ego is there. The lust, the anger, the envy the pride, the illusions are there. Why? I've tried once, I've tried twice? How many times have I dressed Radha Gopinath? How many times I've completed my 16 rounds? How many times have I bowed down and said Vancha Kalpa tarubhyas ca to the Vaisnavas, How many books have I distributed? How many risks have I taken? How many people have I brought to Krishna Consciousness. How many times have I become sick, invalid, and gone on with my service? But still my heart is not pure.
Patience means Krishna, I am going to be always examining and re-examining the quality of my service and the intentions of my service. Because if Iam not pure, perhaps Iam not doing it right. Perhaps there is some flaw. Perhaps Iam making offenses. So we can't just be patient. If you're making aparadhs, if you're negligent of certain vaisnava principles, you could be patient for millions of births.

So we always have to be scrutinizingly examining and re-examining what is the quality of my sadhana, my bhajana, my seva, my relationship with Vaisnavas, and what is the inner content of my heart when Iam performing it. Am I doing it for pratistha? For recognition? Or am I doing it to please Krishna, to please Guru, to please Vaisnavas. And while carefully practicing this way, if it takes our whole life, if it takes hundreds of millions of births, it doesn't matter, because I know, when it is pleasing to Krishna, He will deliver me. I am His servant.

na dhanam na janam na sundarimkavitam va jagad-isa kamayemama janmani janmanisvarebhavatad bhaktir ahaituki tvayi[Cc. Antya 20.29, Siksastaka 4]
"O Almighty Lord, I have no desire to accumulate wealth, nor to enjoy beautiful women. Nor do I want any number of followers. What I want only is the causeless mercy of Your devotional service in my life, birth after birth."

I do not wany money, I do not want women, I do not want followers, disciples. I don't even want liberation. I only want to serve you birth after birth after birth unconditionally. Unconditional service means patience. Whenever Krishna desires, He will deliver me. It is His promise:

man-mana bhava mad-bhaktomad-yaji mam namaskurumam evaisyasi satyam tepratijane priyo 'si me18.65

Always think of Me, become My devotee, worship Me, and offer homage unto Me and in this way you'll come to Me without fail.
Srila Prabhupada explains the essence of patience. "Patience is necessary for developing the confidence that "Krsna will certainly accept me because I am engaging in devotional service." One has only to execute service according to the rules and regulations to insure success."
We worship the Deities as Krishna Himself. We honor every living entity as part of Krishna. We worship and respect every Vaisnava with maturity. And we carry on this way, chanting the holy name, hearing the glories of the Lord, serving His devotees, with patience and faith. Never to give up. If ever we give up, that means, we are not worthy of Bhakti. If our intention is clear, I'll go on as long as you want Krishna and when you want to purify my heart, that's your business, I'll never give up. It is that consciousness that is the price of Krishna consciousness.

Thank you very much.